today was too rainy to do anything including going out into the yard (... lol, like there's anything else to do right now anyway?), and the kid was mostly occupied with toy cars and trains and dinosaurs, so i opened up duolingo. i've been intermittently poking at french and swedish on there for... years, i guess, without ever sticking with it for long. but swedish is such a good language, and it makes intuitive sense if you're a native english speaker in a way that not many other languages do.

french... i used to be semi-kinda-fluent, enough to read a simple book and make simple conversation with someone who didn't mind repeating themself a lot, but since then i've got rusty as hell. it'd be nice to think i could remember it. sometimes it feels so frustrating because i just know i'm... not as intelligent as i used to be. i know intelligence isn't the measure of a person in any meaningful way, but it's still so frustrating not being able to remember things, or connect things in my mind, the way i used to be able to. but, still. i can try. sat there repeating “flickan ater pojkens brod” and “hon alskar hennes elefant” to duolingo for a half hour or so, although it occasionally picked up instead on the kid yelling “vroomster! 3, 2, 1, seatbelts!” instead and was like “the fuck, you are super wrong”. i don't know. it was something to do. i tried.

the gamification element of duolingo doesn't work at all for me, though, and it actually just kind of irritates me when it tells me how many lingots i have or asks if i want to do whatever thing to get more of them. it all just feels extremely pointless, like, i am here to learn language things, not to... I dunno, what do lingots even do? I know you can get new outfits for the owl if you have enough, which is cute, but not really like... worth going out of my way for rather than just waiting until i have them. i wish there was something that would actually hold my attention though; gamifying stuff does work for me, just not when the “rewards” are literally “hey well done, you scored some Gamification Points and now... nothing will happen”.

ah well. at least i now know how to say “she is not a woman, she is a fish” in swedish, so i got that going for me, which is nice.